Breakups are hard enough to deal with on your own, but sometimes it’s even more difficult to watch your best friend go through one. But while you may want to help her through her broken heart, sometimes it’s hard to figure out how to properly handle the situation.
These do’s and don’ts can help you pull your bestie through her breakup and come out stronger and smarter on the other side.
DO let her act a little petty
Sometimes it feels good to be bad and after a breakup is the perfect time to do it. If your friend wants to complain that her partner texted too much, never wanted to go out, and always wore the same ugly sweater, let her do it! Getting out all of those feelings can be an important part of her healing process.
DON’T bash her ex
Just because she’s allowed to call her partner a jerk, doesn’t mean you have the same right. It’s never okay to call her ex names or complain about the things you didn’t like about them. After all, while it might seem like it’s over for now, you never know if they’ll get back together and you don’t want that moment of freedom to ruin a friendship.
DO act as a voice of reason
People tend to make rash decisions after a breakup in an attempt to cleanse or reinvent themselves. While many women might cut or dye their hair after a breakup, in the end, this isn’t a permanent change and a bad haircut will grow out and a poor dye-job can be redone. However, you shouldn’t let you friend do anything rash that might negatively impact her for the long-term. A large tattoo or spur of the moment hookup can leave your friend with a lifetime of regret. Try to talk her down from any potentially damaging actions with the calm reminder that her ex isn’t worth the trouble.
While it’s okay to help guide your friend through some tricky decisions, she’s not looking for a parent or moral guide. Don’t preach or lecture to her and make her feel like a child. Even if you’ve been through a rough breakup yourself, it won’t help her to act like you’re more knowledgeable or superior in any way. If anything, it will turn her away from your help.
Sometimes all a broken heart needs is a willing ear. Your friend will probably want you to listen to a lot of stories about her relationship–both good and bad–and it’s your job to sit through it. More than anything, you need to be there with a box of tissues and a comforting shoulder; make sure that she knows you’re there for her.
DON’T make it all about yourself
The last thing a person wants when trying to tell a story is to have someone else interject with their own experience. Remember, this is about her and she unless she asks for your input, she doesn’t want to hear it.