Whether we want it to or not, the little green monster creeps up on all of us every now and again. You might feel “so jealous!” that your friend is spending a week in the Bahamas while you’re stuck at home, or even feel a twinge of jealousy when your cousin gets engaged instead of you, but feeling jealous all the time might be a sign that you’re not as happy with yourself as you could be.
Not only that but, if you let it linger, jealousy can ruin perfectly good relationships.
The next time you feel the green monster creeping in, follow these steps to help it go away.
1. Acknowledge the Jealousy
The first step you need to take to get over your jealousy is to acknowledge its existence. Often times, people try to hide jealousy even from themselves by disguising the emotion as something else, link anger or betrayal.
When you first feel slightly jealous, simply take the time to acknowledge the emotion to yourself and remind yourself that jealousy is a perfectly normal emotion that everyone experiences. There’s no reason to be ashamed of the way you feel.
2. Find the Root
Next, you need to figure out why you are feeling jealous.
If you’re jealous of someone’s new job, is it because you’re unhappy with your current position? If you’re jealous of someone’s engagement, are you dissatisfied with your own relationship? Digging to the root of the jealousy can help you to better understand yourself and find out why you’re experiencing this emotion, especially if it is particularly strong or you feel it repeatedly.
This can allow you to target things you’re unhappy with in your own life and work to make positive changes.
3. Talk About It
If the jealousy is severe, try talking to someone about it or writing the full extent of your emotions down in a diary or journal. Taking the time to express everything can help you feel more in control of your life and emotions and allow you to move on. Talking things out can also help you clarify your own feelings and come to realizations that you may not have thought of in the first place.
In cases where you truly let your emotions get the best of you, apologize for anything you may have said or done. Jealousy is no reason to ruin an important relationship.
If you take the time to explain your actions, your friend will likely find it in their heart to forgive you. They might also tell you that the next time you’re feeling jealous, say something. Open communication can go a long way.